If someone teases him about it, he may respond badly and those around him will feel even more uncomfortable. Adopting a "say it like it is" attitude isn't a bad thing. If you understand that even in the worst case scenario, life will go on, then everything is doable. My first contribution to wonderful Conscious Magazine in NYC is now live. In another Psychology Today piece, Dr. Fredric Nueman wrote that we should always ask ourselves if another person's opinion should matter to us in the first place when we're starting to feel insecure. If you realize that the worst thing that can happen can’t really touch you at all, then you have nothing to lose. Knowing that the part you play in the world is not crucial to its existence is a very liberating thing.
It's just a differing of viewpoints and there doesn't need to be any negative emotion involved. Thinking of people as weird (in a bad way) because they are different to you is a really narrow-minded view on humanity and you shouldn't make time for people who think like this; they will only judge you and try to make you feel bad. This outlook also always helps to keep things in perspective â if you don't think your office-mate likes you, or that guy behind you in line was rude, focus instead on goals or projects that bring you joy. I have always been a highly sensitive person. This is all easier said than done, of course. Building a self-fulfilling prophecy, you are setting yourself up for caring too much and making yourself feel badly, which brings about insecurity. If you base your worth on getting everyone to like you, it will leave you unhappy and always wondering what you’re lacking. Always try your best to be nice and considerate of others, but if they don’t like you, then that really is their problem, not yours. If they're an acquaintances, random neighbor, or someone you encounter casually on the street or at a party, remind yourself that they truly cannot and will not affect your life! Instead of wasting your time trying to win people over, spend your time enjoying those who will thank you for the energy you put into them. ", "I really enjoy my interest in UFOs and it's great that I can confidently share my hobbies with other people. [Read: How to be perfect in everything you do].
Don’t wallow in it or make yourself feel bad. If they don't feel the same – that is fine, everyone is different and I accept that. It's inevitable that at some point, you will offend someone, but it's much better to speak your truth and offend one person and whilst gaining the respect of 10 others than it is to sit on the fence and have no respect from anyone. So why should I waste my valuable time and energy worrying about if everyone else likes me? Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Use this knowledge to release you from caring about what everyone thinks, because if you do you will always find something or someone to worry about. [Read: How to be happy and live life to the fullest]. Lady Gaga can wear a dress made of meat and people think it's cool because she's confident and doesn't care what anyone thinks. You don't have to be like David Icke and talking about giant space lizards controlling planet earth for people to think you're insane. The key is to stop feeling like you need to be perfect, and accept your failures and mistakes as part of life. Those who care too much are afraid to say no for fear that someone won’t like them. The reality is that they probably wouldn’t feel badly about saying no to you if the situation were reversed. This means accepting all of your quirks, bad habits and all the things about yourself that you may not like – perhaps you're out of shape and hate your body, or you're ashamed about something you've done in the past or you can't accept your sexual orientation. It's not going to happen overnight; and it's going to take some effort.
You can learn from other people's opinions, or you can disregard them, but you can never learn anything from someone who just tells you want you want to hear. The problem with people-pleasers like me is that we’re attracted to the people who enjoy us the least so that we can try our hardest to charm them. I've used the word weird a lot, but I really don't believe anything is weird. Bound by worrying about what others think, whether or not they’re judging me, and whether or not they think I’m a good person, I am often left in a position of being either overly stepped on or overly neurotic. However, here are the four lessons I've learned so far. In fact, it’s a good thing. No matter how hard you try to make it a fair and just place, you never will. Not everyone is worthy of your energy. And then there's the frenemies. As a result, I've spent many years worrying what other people think, trying to conform and restrict my personality. People who pretend to be your friend, who are always there on the sidelines to cheer you on, but who tear you down in the same breath. Society has constructed the perfect prison to keep everyone in line. She highlighted all the issues I was having that I was unaware of, pointed out the people who were hindering me and provided me with the support I needed.
You don't need that kind of negativity.
In fact, it is literally in our genetic makeup. Your email address will not be published. When you don't care what other people think of you, you can't be manipulated or controlled by other people. It can be stressful listening to people you care about voicing their concerns, but it is harmless and I am grateful to have people who care about me. Judging without necessary cause, however, becomes someone else’s problem, not yours. 2020 Bustle Digital Group.
If you're at a networking event, who are you going to remember speaking to? [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out], #13 Realize that no one is perfect, and striving for perfection only leaves you feeling empty. Whatever it is, you have to go through the (lengthy) process of accepting yourself for who you are before you can even begin to dismiss what other people think of you. When you don't care what other people think of you, you can't be manipulated or controlled by other people. Being able to work through your pent-up anxiety and emotions will ensure that you won’t explode on the wrong person, make the wrong assumption, or feel bad about something that’s all in your head.
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